As I begin my day, every morning, my wife helps me shuffle into our restroom. We slowly cross in front of a large mirror. Most days, I pay it no attention. Every so often, though, my reflection catches my eye. I stop and study the figure looking back at me for a moment.
It is me. I recognize the face. But as I absorb what I see, I almost cannot believe it is. How much has changed of me. I trace the outline of the body before me. Bent at the waist , barely able to stand upright. I follow the edges of my shoulders and arms. Once full from the years of use , now starting to just cover the structures beneath. My back displaying ever more contours.
The person in the reflection moves at a snail’s pace. Each inch forward with deliberate intent. My legs refuse to cooperate. I used to walk 10 miles a day on my mail delivery route. Now, I am lucky if I can manage 100 feet. I can’t walk without someone holding me by my hands. When I do make my trek of mere steps, you would think that I just sprinted 400 meters!
Nearly every aspect of my daily life requires the assistance of others (wife). The guy in the reflection can no longer do the simplest of physical tasks. I am fed, cleaned, moved. I have to consider things like external catheters so that I can urinate if I am not able to find appropriate facilities. Just last week, I received my first shipment of adult diapers. What the hell?! I just turned 44 and this is what my life has become.
Looking at that reflection not only represents the present, but it conjures up reflection on what once was. I guess that this holds true for anyone. This is not a result of the natural process of things, though. It makes the face in the mirror almost a stranger, at times. How is this me? It just is.
How is it you..because you are more than the shell. You are a warrior and being a warrior is more than a physical presence.
Keep being the warrior that is you!
#suckitals #tomstroops