Being told you are dying has a way of putting your life in focus real quick! Your life is moving along at 100mph and then suddenly a brick wall. (insert sound of needle scratching across record) The life you thought you had figured out is now in oblivion. Your future plans are all in limbo.
As devastating as that realization was for me, I have benefited with a greater appreciation for the life I do have left. There are so many things that we take for granted every day. Many are purely physical but have a mental impact. I remember that the first part of me to be affected was my right thumb. Talk about a bummer. Opposable thumbs are a highlight of human evolution. I am telling you, you can’t do squat without ’em. Even the simplest tasks become monumental. Over time I have lost more physical facilities. I now require assistance in most activities which also equates to loss of privacy. I appreciate all of the help I receive but as a man , I gotta say I do miss a good scratch when I need it.
How often do we just go outside and take in the environment? Nowadays, every chance I get I will just sit outside and take it all in. I am lucky enough to live away from the city and far enough from busy roads to have a pretty quiet retreat. It is such an escape from TV, social media and the hustle and bustle of life. A cool evening breeze on the back patio does the soul good. For a brief moment a sense of normalcy is allowed to settle in. Staring at the universe and feeling tiny in its immensity.
Though, I have to say that my greatest appreciation is for life itself. I can no longer take for granted every day that I am blessed with on this earth ! We are all guilty of expecting that tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is never promised. As terrible as the idea of facing life with this terminal disease is, I am forever grateful for every morning that I wake up. I know it is cliche to say things could be worse and I hope that I can still believe that as my condition deteriorates, but for now I firmly believe that. I often think of those suffering in this world with no help. I think of the father who was killed in a vehicle accident on the way to work. The three year old girl who is fighting a rare cancer and is now in hospice. They ran a news story today about her. She hasn’t even gotten to live her life. All she knows of life is sickness. There are endless examples of suffering. I have a roof over my head. Food on the table. Clothes on my back. I have a wife and children who love me. I have traveled around the world. I have had a lifetime of experiences. Do I wish that I still have many years to add? Yeah I do. If I don’t, I know right now that I have not taken any of my life for granted.