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     I could never imagine facing my life without her.  Let alone staring down this beast.  She is my heart.  She is my soul.  She completes me.  She is everything that I am not and then some. My rock.  My best friend.  My caregiver.  She is my wife. 

     When you take your vows, you never really think that it is literal.  Especially at the age of 23. You just figure that you have a long time before you have to worry about the “in sickness and in health” part.  And “til death do you part” is not even a thought.  The fact is, we don’t know if or when they will actually come in to play.  As we are well aware, both are already looming upon us. Admittedly, it is a bit scary.  How bad will it get?  Can we handle it? Have I done everything I can to prepare my family’s future when I am gone?  These are the questions we have had to tackle together. 

     That is a tough pill for any couple to swallow. She has embraced the task at hand and I am confident that we can handle what comes of this. But, man, I can’t help but hate that this is what our life has become.  I will say this, though, I would not want to be here with any other person. 

     Situations like this will truly test the strength of any relationship. At this stage in our lives, we should be gearing up to be having fun.  My youngest will be graduating from high school in a few months and we will technically be empty nesters.  Instead, ALS has regressed me to a childlike state. How ironic that the more I progress, the more I regress. She has truly been a gift to me. She feeds me, bathes me and cleans my ass.  She puts me in bed and sits me up in the morning.  She makes my meals, maintains the household and gives me my meds.  She gets me dressed and undressed.  She does all the chores to keep our lives in order.  Most of all, she loves me through it all and does it with the desire to make sure that the days that I have left are the best they can be.  If that isn’t the epitome of a great relationship, I don’t know what is. 

     It kills me to know that I will be leaving her too soon.  There is just something different about losing your life partner as opposed to family.  I don’t think it is easier or worse.  Just different.  I have known my wife for almost 30 of my 43 years on this planet.  We have given each other almost half of our life time of love, anger, happiness, sadness and intimate knowledge of each other.  How do you just move on from that?  There is a lifetime investment in that. I have no doubt that she will be fine, but the thoughts still linger. 

     We have promised to fight this fight together.  She gives me the strength to do it.  I pray that my fire to keep pushing forward drives her to do the same.  My wife has always been the heart and soul of our family.  She has and is MY HEART.