FEAR

     We all have fear.  Everyone.  Anyone who says otherwise is lying.  I have fears. I do my best to face them.  There is no shame in it.

     The current pandemic really got me thinking about this topic. It has been a strange couple of months since all of this broke out.  As I have previously stated, it has been a legitimate concern.  We are taking all the precaution necessary.  But, at some point we will have to resume normal living.  I am a bit apprehensive.  The fear of contracting Covid is something I will have to contend with. 

     There is an above average probability that I would succumb to any respiratory ailment.  That brings me to my next fear.  I am not afraid of death.  I am afraid of dying.  The actual act.  Will I suffer?  Will it be painful?  Will I feel scared?  These are all questions I am sure many have pondered. 

     I worry about the family I leave behind.  I am taking steps to ensure that I leave them in the best possible circumstances.  Again, a little bit of fear lingers.  I guess it is just the fear of not knowing.  All we can do is have preparations in place to mitigate potential issues. 

     Did I do enough while I was here?  I am far from perfect.  I have plenty of flaws.  I will not pretend that I am the best husband, father, son, brother… etc . I just hope that I will leave a positive mark on the lives of those I have touched.  Did I make a difference?  

     Most of all , I fear being forgotten.  Doesn’t everyone?  Maybe not.  I really only care that my family remembers.  No offense.  I know it may sound silly, but I can’t deny that the fear exists.  I can promise that whatever lies beyond , I will never forget them and my love for them will be eternal. 

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Christy Garcia

    Gil,
    You continue to make a huge impact in our lives. You live in our thoughts always.

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